you sit down to watch the lion king with me. i point out that leafcutter ants do not live in africa within the first five minutes. you begin to realize that you have made a horrible mistake. i continue to point out every usage of a tiger’s roar in place of a lion’s. you are at the door, but it is locked.
If I sleep too much, my parents complain.
If I don’t get enough sleep, my parents complain.
If I eat too much, my parents complain.
If I don’t eat enough, my parents complain.
If I’m always in my room, my parents complain.
If I go out too much, my parents complain.
I CAN’T FUCKING WIN.
Squirming USB Tentacle
You seem like the kind of person who needs more squirming tentacle in your life. Trust me, I can tell these things. Available at ThinkGeek for $24.99 USD, this noodly appendage doesn’t actually do anything besides weird you out, but it pays for itself in reaction faces from frightened strangers. A perfect gift for Cthulhu Cthristmas.